Bigender, maybe bisexual, nonbinary with Andy Thornton
Welcome to the second S3XtheorywithDemi & Friends episode! In this episode, Demi is joined by Andy Thornton (they/he) to discuss their journey with gender and sexuality as a Christian, nonbinary, bigender ‘maybe bisexual *question mark*’. Andy and Demi discuss the definition of bigender, the struggle of labelling sexuality and identity and relationships as an individual outside of the binary. Andy and Demi share their thoughts on how restrictive labelling can be, how supportive Demi’s partner is in their gender journey and ends with Andy’s advice to those on similar journeys of self-discovery.
Andy- ‘I’m a Stonewall LGBTQ+ Person of Faith Role Model, a sex and relationships facilitator for School of Sexuality Education, Digital Marketing & Diversity and Inclusion lead for Rixxo and an avid plant Dad. I’ve done academic research on exclusion within Queer and Christian communities of bi and trans members, wrote and illustrated a children’s book called Rebekah’s Secret Grandpa, and I’ve just started a podcast called Let’s Get Better.’
What you will find in this episode:
- Congratulating Demi
- What bigender means to Andy
- Erasure of nonbinary individuals
- Andy’s brother story
- What presents as nonbinary to Demi and Andy – representation
- Rejecting the binaries to the extreme
- Demi bigging up their partner for being supportive
- Andy’s Rhino story – metaphor for gender dysphoria
- Andy’s relationship and being single
- Discussion of labels
- Demi and Andy’s DMs / questions about identity or career
- It’s just a phase VS forever
- Andy’s advice
- Labels aren’t meant to be permanent, they can change and we should not fear the phrase, ‘it’s a phase’ by stating our identities are permanent from day one.
- Not every nonbinary individual will use they/them pronouns. Educate yourself on neopronouns and the various other ways enby individuals can identify.
- It’s okay to be scared and to not know, things will change. If you’re worried about not being sure, try pronouns and names out with people you trust.
- It takes time for others to learn but that doesn’t mean people are allowed to be mean to you – surround yourself with safe individuals – do not worry however, your family and friends will figure things out. If they love you, they love you.